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What's This?

A Small Window into China's Soul

Inspiring Memoir By Jin Lan McCann

It tells: 

  • The tale of rising China and its impacts to the world
  • Her transformation from a far left winger to a far right winger, and eventually to an independent
  • Her epiphany from an atheist to believe the existence of the Creator/the God
  • Her unique insights and recommendations on world leadership in economic and human rights development


  • Amazing first hand life experiences
  • Unique perspective and insight about the West and the East
  • A genuine voice unraveling the myths of Chinese model of development
  • A desperate call for change

Worthwhile for Anyone to Read

  • Inspiring
  • Educational
  • Entertaining

Jin Lan's Poetry

Genoa's Veil

Genoa's winter as if a shy bride

So intrigued, I would offer her a ride

But where can I elope with her to

Since she is from the heavens

May disappear like a drop of morning dew?



If you were the mountain

I’d like to be the river

Gently embrace you

With my endless love

If you were the river

I’d like to be the mountain

Let you lie down in my warm arms

But still allow you to freely flow

To anywhere you want to be

If you were the wind

I’d like to be the sand

Joyfully follow you

To wherever you blow me to

If you were the blue sky

I’d like to be the white cloud

Decorate your magnificent life

With my most creative art of nature

If you were the piano

I’d like to be the pianist

Passionately play for you

The most romantic notes of my life

If you were the lighted candle

I’d like to be the humble moth

Show you my last beautiful dance

With my life disappearing in your fire

I Have...

I have
A pair of talented hands
Can weave colorful dreams
Dreaming as if I were a bee
Spreading the pollen of free thoughts
To all over the earth

I have
Colorful dreams
They all have beautiful wings
Flying into thousands of houses
To deliver hope and warmth

I have
A laugh
Can shake the mountains and make the ocean dance
Dancing the mist out of your mind
Showering the sunshine on your face

But, the most important is
I have ___ You
It were You who make my life passionately burning
Burning in the never regret pursuit
Until exhaust the last drop of my wax


The Saga of A Paddlefish

-For Shenzhen Paddlefish Restaurant


One day, my mom was playing around
In the Mississippi where no one can be found
Someone with a duck mouth complimented her, such a wonderful blond
And wanted to take her to a beautiful wonder pond

My mom was so madly in love
Did not think through,
Just followed him to a pool at a big boat above
They sailed all the way to China
Where everyone has no entertainment except making babies for fun

Here, they made lots of us
With long duck mouths like my dad’s
Now, we are so cool and precious
People want us and cook us in their hot pots

People praised me a lot
Because I am so goddamn hot
Sorry, now I must say goodbye
For humans who say they would protect me - lie


Take A Glance


Dear readers,

To tell the truth, or not to tell the truth? 

That is the question. 

We can never afford not to.

 Although I live in a free country, telling the truth still presents a risk to the lives of my family members in China.Yet my integrity requiring the telling of some simple, but painful, truths. After I published the first volume of my memoir, some Chinese internet trolls[1]from Twitter started to threaten me with my family members’ lives, and spread lies about my Wellesley and Western Nevada College degrees were fake. A Twitter survey showed that these trolls successfully made 31% of the participants believe that I fraudulently created my two diplomas. When I informed my Mother who lives in China, she also worried that I could be killed. She repeatedly warned me to shut up and stop writing. 

 While I was pondering whether I should publish the second volume, my intellectual friends who live in China begged me, “Jin Lan, you can’t give up, you can’t be afraid, because, if you are afraid as an American citizen, we Chinese nationals will have no hope at all.” They desperately begged me to pass their message to the world, during every conversation. That message is, “People in the West have to take actions now to defend liberty and justice while guiding China’s leadership to accept and promote our universal human rights. Otherwise, the cause of freedom might make an abrupt U-turn when China’s GDP size approaches that of the United States”. Everything, in the final analysis, is about economic power.

 Bludgeoned by Twitter, nauseated by the smell of fear, whether awake or asleep, I too became afraid. Soon I realized that if I am afraid here in my adopted country, neither is it truly free, and its classical freedoms can wax and wane over time. So, I decided to rewrite my memoir in brutally honest fashion, to provide you a small, yet clouded, window into China’s soul, through my personal evolution and insights.

 In this book, I will show you:

1)  How China evolved from a backward country to a strong and ambitious power affecting the world with its injected authoritarian belief;

2) How Chinese people were brainwashed by communist ideology 24/7 since birth, through my personal experiences;

3) How my ideology shifted from the far left to the far right, and eventually modulated to become an independent;

4) How I had an astonishing epiphany that God indeed exists, as a born to be atheist. 

 I will provide my investigative report proving how China has systematically infiltrated United States institutions in order to lay the foundation for its goal of achieving world domination. Those institutions, sadly, include:

1) Academic environments such as Harvard[2];

2) Think tanks such as Johns Hopkins School of Advanced International Studies; 

3) Media outlets such as Voice of America[3]; 

4) Businesses such as J.P. Morgan[4];

5) Political icons such as Diane Feinstein[5]and Joe Biden[6].

 In the end of the book, I will explain why I believe that a worldwide competition for small government policies is wise to reestablish a fairer world order. So, my dear reader, please fasten your seatbelt. The adventure with me ahead will be stormy and thrilling. Enjoy!


[1]Chinese internet trolls are internet commentators hired by the government and speak for the government. According to some insiders, China has 20 million plus such internet commentators.







The Flame of Freedom is Priceless

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